Sisterly Bonds and the road to developing them.
So, I grew up fairly typical – a suburban, lower-middle-class family. A mom, a dad, and two daughters in a cul-de-sac. And like most modern families, there was a bit of history before I arrived. My older sister shared a mother with me but not a father, and when I was seven (she was fourteen), she went to live with her dad. It wasn’t until years later, when I turned twenty-one and moved to the East Coast, that my sister and I developed a closer relationship.
But as adults, we were new to getting to know each other again, and a different dynamic emerged than when we were young. There were pitfalls we fell back into that neither of us expected. I wasn’t that little kid that needed taking care of any longer, and that was not something she wanted to accept.
Our relationship has been the most complex of my life. I tend to view it as stages that we have gone through, the current being the strongest and most honest we have ever been. And the weakest, as my addiction to alcohol was consuming me and threatening to take more than just me with it.
I think complex relationships are at the heart of families. No two are the same, or easy all the time – every sibling relationship comes with hazards. I am happy that we have made it to the other side. Don’t mistake it though – It wasn’t easy, it was messy and its something we both work to keep special.
I have hopes we will never slide back into old roles or habits and that we remain honest to each other, even when it’s hard. The better a relationship can be, the harder you may have to work. But that’s what we are here for: human connection, sisterly bonds, and complex relationships. It’s all a part of life. A life I am grateful to still have.