Ready for a Rant?
I am working on becoming a person with more chill. Before transplant, I could be singularly focused, and I have spent a lot of my adult life getting irritated over situations that I really had no control over. Neighbors blasting music late into the night on a Tuesday. Groups of people walking together three wide down a grocery aisle. People who fully recline their seat in the front of you on an airplane the moment they sit down – those who hop up the moment the plane stops, even though they are twenty rows back from where the door opens.
I’ve realized that in many of these situations, the biggest discomfort I am feeling is the stress I am putting on myself by focusing on the annoyance of it all. I cannot control what these people are doing, but I still let it gather my focus and irritate me. Once I got sick and so very close to dying (no joke), my perspective of life snapped into a clearer picture. When I was in danger of losing everything, just the smallest things began bringing me joy. And in turn, the most annoying things were easier to let go.
Do I still think these instances are rude? Yes. Do I wish sometimes that people are more self-aware than they are? Sure. But is it worth making myself miserable over? Probably not. So I view it as an internal ‘picking and choosing my battles’ – like before I let an irritation grow, consider if it is even worth the energy…and in most instances, nowadays, it is not.
That being said…I still have like 280,000 things on my growing list of pet peeves. I came out of recovery with a more positive outlook on life, grateful just to be alive and here to make the most of it. I will do my best to hold on to that positive outlook and try to be more generous with my feelings of annoyance.
Anyone relate?